For the kingdom of heaven is as a man traveling into a far country, who called
his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five
talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his
several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the
five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.
And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had
received one went and dug in the earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long
time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that
had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord,
thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five
talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant:
thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many
things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two
talents came and said, Lord, thou delivered unto me two talents: behold, I
have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done,
good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will
make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he
which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art
an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not
strawed: and I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there
thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and
slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I
have not strawed: thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the
exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundantly: but
from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye
the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and
gnashing of teeth (Matthew 25:14­30).

As some may note, I'm not too keen on modern Christianity. However, there are some good things in the Bible and I think the above quote is one of them. I just finished classes for the year. Two D's, two B's and an A. There was really one one class I put any effort into and I can only say that the amount of real effort lasted err.. about 18 hours. I think I am not focused on what I am looking to 'do'. To find what one can do; it's a difficult thing. One of my main problems is that I spread myself thin trying to do many things at once. This way I never really do any thing.

Distractions come fairly easy to take over my will. Not that I or anyone really has much of it. But back to the talents. I know I am good at things, however I am weary to apply them to things perhaps a fear of using them to serve the destructive force, perhaps a fear of looking badly, or some other one. The classes that I got a D in wasn't because I did poor work, it was because I didn't do some work at all. I identify quite a bit I found when I work myself up into putting these projects I don't do off. One one hand I say that I don't want to exert my mind in a direction that seeks how to make 'corporations' better (because mostly that is the focus of the University I attend) but on the other I think even if it was a project I didn't object to I would still put it off. I do have elements of laziness in my personality that dominate from time to time. These are things I could work on no matter the situation. Also, I don't know how possible it is right now for me to not work with a force that is that of our human entropic nature; this is difficult work (making efforts against human nature) and I think one has to have the basic skill sets devoid of common distractors such as laziness before one can seriously say that they are able to fully immerse in such work; but perhaps that is all part of it.